alwayswithme, a Weblog

where I keep my thoughts together

A Twist on the Serenity Prayer from Spark People August 18, 2008

Filed under: Quotes — alwayswithme @ 9:38 am

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.


This is What We Saw August 17, 2008

Filed under: DS, The Older,Family — alwayswithme @ 2:20 pm

Full moonWe moved Matt’s refrigerator to his home last night and this is what we saw.  It was just gorgeous; it seriously took my breath away.  The evening was cool for Kansas in August; the house just feels so homey and DH was able to show DS how to install an icemaker, how to change a fuse, how to adjust the hot water heater and advise him on how to install the washer and dryer.  It was just a really nice family evening although we were exhausted. 

I have to go pick up the dresser today and move the last load up either today or tomorrow.  I think I’m going to get him the lamps I saw and the nightstands for Christmas if the price is right.  That will complete his bedroom and that is what I want for him. This is where we made our purchases.  It is just a veneer but it looks lovely and is perfect for a 23 year old to whom not much has come easily except a delightful personality.


Getting Lost August 15, 2008

Filed under: DH,DS, The Older,DS, The Younger,Family — alwayswithme @ 12:22 pm

Yesterday was the day to go pick up the headboard.  I don’t like to drive the highways so I do my best to avoid them.  I had to use 71 on the way there but I headed back out in a different direction on the way back.  I knew we lived west and north of where we were and so off we went. 





What a joy it was to travel through the rural areas where all you could see was fields of green, stalks of corn, bales of hay, an occasional home and blue skies.  It was great.  We could have gone directly back in 30 minutes but instead we spent 90 minutes just enjoying the feeling of open space and each other’s company.  It was great.

Had bunco last night and I won the middle of the road prize.  It was fun to get together with all the other women.  Rob got his fish tonight while he was with his dad.  I got home in time to watch him feed them.  He loves them already.  He ended up with four rather than three.  I envision lots of fish tanks in his future.

Our anniversary is today.  We don’t have anything planned and that is okay.  It is such a busy time right now.  Rob offered to go to a friends house (bless his heart).  We’ve got to load up stuff in the van to move to Matt’s new house tomorrow evening.  I’ve got TOPS tomorrow morning.  I need to get flowers to Phyllis today hopefully and see if Rob can go to Jeff’s tomorrow from early morning to mid afternoon.  I’ve got to pick up the appliance dolly tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. so I’ve got to remember to have room in the van for it plus maybe the headboard.

Greg is not going to work the second job anymore.  I am a bit frightened about that but he says we will be okay.  I hope he can arrange to bill out his time to clients through the firm like he thinks he should be able to and get a cut of those billings.  He thinks the partners will support that.  I worry that he won’t pursue it.  I don’t know why I don’t have faith that he’ll do it because he says he will and he is reliable.  It is probably because I want to know now and he is oh so patient.

Anyway, off to make my list of things to do longer.


Sunflowers August 12, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — alwayswithme @ 9:55 pm


 the field




Beautiful countryside and farm.

These are some things I love.


I’m Considering Digital Scrapbooking

Filed under: Uncategorized — alwayswithme @ 8:35 pm

Good entry on Shutterfly.  I couldn’t make a comment on her sight, sometimes blogspot does that so I’m linking to it.


Nordic Walking August 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — alwayswithme @ 8:40 pm

Something to think about for this fall when the weather is nicer.


Healthy You Report In August 10, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — alwayswithme @ 10:50 am

I weighed in for this week and was down .2.  At least it was down and I did exercise this week.  Pat on back to me.  MizFit asked if I was eating enough and I am not, at least of the good stuff.  This week I will work on that.  Thank you very much MizFit.  I will also continue to walk on the treadmill and do the 100 PushUp Challenge.  I am also going to add in an ab session where I will do the plank move, holding it for as long as I can and doing as many as I can, with the goal of uping (is that a word?) each day.  Since I am doing the pushups MWF I will do the plank TThS.  Thanks to all who encouraged me last week.  I hope everyone releases weight this week and gets stronger and healthier.

See below for a followup post please.


Still Struggling With Chocolate

Filed under: Family — alwayswithme @ 10:35 am

I weighed in with a .2 loss.  I exercised 5 days walking on the treadmill and did the 100 pushup challange.  I am glad I walked.  I am glad I’m doing the challenge.  Food remains the thing I am not glad about.

I am still really struggling with chocolate issues (and mint).  Those flavors are my real downfall.  It all started when I was a teenager.  I was probably 16 because I could get myself to the store that sold Junior Mints and Peppermint Patties and I had some money so I could buy them.  I was buying so many that I remember one time the clerk who worked there said they should just order me a box of them.  That was embarassing but it did not stop me from continuing to go there to get them.  I was stick thin at the time so this pattern didn’t start to catch up with me until my mid to late 20’s.  By then I was in an unhappy marriage, working full time about an hour from home when you factor in dropping off and picking up my son and I was eating fast food for lunch and sometimes breakfast.  My ex worked a 30 day rotating shift so I didn’t see much of him for a good number of days.  I never seemed to get into the swing of preparing meals because when he worked days he was home in time to fix something, when he worked evenings and midnights it was just Matt and I and Matt was a toddler who didn’t eat much.  I am sure back then I ate crap even for dinner but it has been so long ago, I don’t remember.

When I was single again, I dropped alot of weight from worry and lack of money.  Matt and I would share meals out.  I don’t think I still cooked much at home.  Then when I remarried, I married a man (whom I love dearly) with custody of his two sons.  DH played shortorder cook, preparing three meals for them or going out and getting them fast food from different restaurants.  He absolutely would not commit to sitting down as a family to eat meals; so again, no reason to cook.  No wonder I’ve never enjoyed spending time in the kitchen.  There was no one to really do it for; or so it seemed. 

Our DS (ours together with all the other boys out of the home as they are adults) enjoys eating as a family which is great but DH after a year of unemployment finally got a job that requires 10 to 12 hour days plus weekends.  I never know when he is coming home.  So, again, preparing meals just isn’t that fun because everything is so unpredictable.  If I eat late at night, I get heartburn so waiting until DH gets home isn’t an option.  So we just kind of wing it.  Prior to that, DH always had this, that or the other to do and was perfectly happy with a bowl of cereal for dinner and then grazing his way through the kitchen the rest of the night.  So again, why bother with much.  I fixed a lot of hamburger helper, tuna helper, frozen french fries with frozen chicken tenders and a bag of corn or some applesauce because DS would eat that stuff.

I grew up in a family that ate hot cooked meals every night at 5:00 p.m.  It is no wonder I feel screwed up since that is what I expected in my adult life but isn’t what I got.  I can see that I could have chosen to have carried on the tradition on my own but I didn’t because everything seemed so out of whack and doing for myself what I would have done for someone else felt wrong, felt disloyal, felt separate in my current marriage and in my past marriage it was that single or senior syndrome where what fun is it to cook for just one, especially when you’d have all those leftovers? or why bother because it is just me?  My DS got a hot cooked meal at the babysitters so I’d do mac and cheese or sandwiches for him or swing through McDonalds for a Happy Meal.

So now here I sit at a crossroads of why don’t I go ahead and cook for me like I would for someone else and why should I?  I deserve to be treated as well as I would someone else.  My DH at least deserves to have something available to him in the refrigerator besides takeout leftovers.  We eat out alot as we live in a large suburban area with tons of restaurants available to us. 

I am considering making a lunch as my main, nice meal so that there are good leftovers for DH in the refrigerator for his dinner.  DS and I could eat together as a family for dinner at a reasonable hour and I could do salad while he eats the leftovers from my lunch for dinner.  I am considering making my lunch a sensory pleasureable event with music (instead of talk radio or TV) flowers in a vase or a lit candle, a pretty plate and cloth napkin.  It seems like a lot of trouble to go to for just me; but I am hoping that it will be worth the effort in that I will feel comforted this way and not feel the need to be comforted by my nemesis chocolate and mint.  I tend to read when I dine alone and I think I should probably stop that but I think that will be the hardest part of this for me.  I think the book or magazine distracts me from what I eat and I think I should learn how to enjoy the process of eating the meal and being aware of what I eat.  I believe I need full me participation at meal time.  This is going to be hard.  It will also be interesting.  Can I change this behavior too?  I’ve added walking one week, pushup the next and now meal behavior.  I’m layering behaviors as one of my previous commenters pointed out.  Wish me your best okay?


Click on the Link Below for a Great Article on Being Present August 9, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — alwayswithme @ 2:19 pm


This is a great article.  I am linking to it here so that I can reread it frequently.  The blogger has put into words what I am trying to do in my life right now.  Being present makes life so much easier.  Concentrating on breathing is so calming.  If you have happened upon my blog, please go visit ThePositivityBlog.

I would note that in the article, Eckhart Tolle, an author that Oprah loves is mentioned as is his book.  As a Catholic Christian I find him to be new agey like most of Oprah’s spiritual advisors. So read the article but don’t go read the book mentioned in the article.


A Saturday Morning Meme August 8, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — alwayswithme @ 2:48 pm

Saturday Morning Meme


I am: sitting at the computer desk drinking a diet rite

I think: I’ve gotten a lot done today

I thank:  God for all he has given me

I know:  that I need to clean the toilets

I wish:   that we had better choices in the presidential election

I hate: that word.

I miss:  My husband, he is at work

I feel:  fairly peaceful

I shop:  at Half Price Book Store

I hear:   the whir of electronics and occasionally my son who is playing quietly

I crave:   usually chocolate but today it is silence

I wonder: how I will feel when I meet my weight loss goal

I dream:  of peace filled days and cool summer nights

I love: my Lord, my husband, my children, my family, my friends and my country

I care: about people

I celebrate: to infrequently

I sing:  not very well but wish that I could

I cry:  when I am overwhelmed

I don’t always: make my bed first thing in the morning

I write:  all the time

I pray: everyday

I lose: I don’t lose, I merely misplace

I listen: God

I am scared: of what this country is coming to

I dance:not often enough

I need:  a lot of quiet time

I dread: sleepless nights

I anticipate: meeting my weight loss goal

I laugh:  at funny stories