I’ve had a lot of stuff going on in my head this past month I would say. I had reached a point over the past year that I could say I was generally more happy than sad but the clouds seem to have returned. I am unsettled; something is off. I was reading through some blog entries of various different bloggers I have found and enjoy. “One of them was talking about red flags–they mean something and we do no good by ignoring them. I know this is what I’ve been doing.
RED FLAG-I say I want to lose weight (I’m talking 70 pounds!) but my actions don’t consistently follow that path.
RED FLAG-I say God is important to me but my time spent with him of late does not reflect this.
RED FLAG-I say I want to keep a neat home for my family and myself but everywhere I look there is at least one pile, one corner, one surface, one floor not reflecting that.
RED FLAG-I say I want to stop procrastinating, stop my lazy ways, stop wasting my time (and life) but then i continue to fall right back into the same habits I say I want to stop.
All this is very frustrating for me. It plumments my self esteem and I wonder why does my DH love me; why do I get offers to do this or that in organizations I belong to; don’t they know I am not worthy?
Clearly in evaluating this RED FLAGS I can see that if I put God first he will lead the way. Since I’ve slipped from putting him first he is letting me wander through the desert. I really believe that my father is waiting for me to catch up with him again. I just need to turn around, run a bit and slip my hand into his and go where he leads me.
To God Be the Glory. Amen.
